Derek Jeter is voted man of the Century

I got in my truck after school today on the way to baseball practice and turned on sports radio like usual. I turned to three sports channels and a news channel within the first 5 minutes b/c I don't listen to commercials. I love channel flippin. In those 5 mintues, I heard four different discussions of Maxim Magazine's Hot 100 and how Derek Jeter had dated 6 of this list. Since Jeter is my favorite player by himself now that I've discovered that Clemens is a child molesting Roid Head, I thought we'd review...........................

Scarlett Johanson-She's disgusting to me. She's almost opaque white.
Mariah Carey-Crazy Spoon Head. She's so crazy she has a spoon on her head.
Gabrielle Union-probably the most attractive black woman ever.
Jessica Alba-Yes, in that movie Deep Blue.
Jessica Biel-Yes, no doubt.
Vanessa Minillo-Is that the girl Nick Lache is marrying??? If so, Yes

Rich dude in New York. He can get pretty much any woman on earth. My wife would probably leave me for him in about 2 seconds. If you read this baby, I'm just kidding. You're way hotter that the two Jessicas. My wife is a beautiful princess.

By the way, after today, Jeter is batting .298 with zero homers and 16 RBIs. Two numbers that are really scary is that he's only walked four times and has ZERO steals and 1 CS. His OBP is the lowest it's been in 13 years. His lady percentage is high, but his fantasy value is dropping like a rock.